Parodying the Travails of a SPA (self published author)
06/08/14 08:34 AM
Amber Foxx, author of The Calling and Shaman’s Blues, is a Goodreads member, who recently commented on a thread about how “readers want authors to promote their books” by summarizing everyone’s thoughts in a Gilbert & Sullivan styled parody.
This is the link to her blog where she posted it on June 7th, 2014. But considering it is a blog and subject to change daily, I’m reposting it below.
The Author’s Patter Song
(With apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan)
I am the very model of a modern indie authoress.
My editor is excellent, my formatting is not a mess.
I’ve hired top professionals for proofreading and cover art ,
And hope that that I will join the ranks of authors who discovered are.
I don’t engage with trolls or drive-by one-stars on the internet.
I’ve never said so far a thing on Goodreads that I might regret.
Real readers wrote my good reviews not sock puppets or family.
I hope this will promote me since I must not do it spammily.
I can’t afford for Foreword or for Kirkus to approve me
And if I were to push hard would-be readers would remove me
From their to-read lists, and so I keep my self-promotion minimal.
With marketing so subtle that it borders on subliminal.
I’ll hang on with obduracy and get discovered anyway.
To languish in obscurity would be a terrible cliché.
But …
I’m at the very bottom of the Amazon best seller list
Where almost every other model modern indie author is.
I love parodies and I’m an indie writer, so I thought this one was brilliant.